Australian election

To you the Australian voter. I wonder if you knew there is an election(sporing season) on. Now the object of an election is for two political sides (" political parties") to battle against each other for your, mine and everybody else votes(I bet you didn't know you had a vote? And for that matter what a vote is? I'll explain that to you. A vote is a symbiotic form of fungi that grows in the left armpit of humans living in Australia. The vote fungi takes three and half years to mature. Once it matures it begins to die and spore, and at that moment when your vote is about to spore you must cast it out. If you don't cast it out the fungi it will cause you to stand which is not good for health.)  
Now political parties are not like normal parties: they are not fun groups. They spend their time running around trying to catch fungi and I don't believe anyone in their right mind finds catching fungi as being fun. Now the political parties attempt bore people living in Australia to become extremely bored by non-debates, nodding heads when party leaders talk and vocal repetition  ( boredom causes chemical changes in the human body which produces a hormone that is extremely toxic to the vote fungi which results in the fungi vote detaching itself from its host.)  which results in the fungi vote dropping off and a political party catching it. The political party with the most fungi at the end of the sporing season gets to run the country for three and half years until the next sporing seasons.  
I hope that explains to you clearly what an election is about. Next week I'll explain what "running the country means."